Journalister heter inte saker som Karolina Ramqvist, Nils Hansson och Malena Rydell: de är undantagen som bekräftar regeln. Journalister heter:
Andres Lokko
Caroline Ringskog Ferrada-Noli
Caspar Opitz
Oisin Cantwell
Fredrik Strage
Heather Duke
Yukiko Duke (inte samma uttal som föregående efternamn)
Said Karlsson
Mustafa Can
Marciej Zaremba
etc etc
Jag har även roat mig med att plocka jouranlistnamnsrussinen ur min bekantskapskrets' kaka, här är några godbitar:
Claudia Calvani
Flaminia Giorgi
Kati Fastman
Arianna Framvik Malik
Kajsa Karlberg Lundell
Benedicte Kukla (ni kanske skrattar nu, men ni skulle vänja er snabbt, tänk på Acne)
Måns Lumbye Lager
Agnes Ohlsson Gotby
Kristina Sigunsdotter
Mitt eget namn då? Bara för- och efternamn duger inte (jag ska bli den nye Carl Reinholdtzon Belfrage), men skriver jag ut mitt fullständiga namn funkar det; helt ute och cyklade var inte Lars och Inga-Stina.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Det nya
(Jag vet inte, eftersom jag befinner mig utomlands, ni kanske redan läst om henne till leda i DN, Rodeo, Bon mm, i så fall kan ni gå direkt till nästa punkt.)
Yelle är det nya Le tigre och den här är den nya Deceptacon:
Hon kommer med största sannolikhet inte kunna åstadkomma något lika bra igen (gå in på hennes myspace och förfasas), men det här är en anthem, och kommer så förbli. Hennes existens som artist är härmed berättigad och hennes karriär tryggad för åtsminstone några år framåt.
Kurd är det nya est. Så fort folk insett att Shan Atci och Özz Nujen inte är roliga är banan sopad för kvalitets-kurderna. Heja Baban for president (i Sverige) och Narin Celepli i Svenskan! Snart (när Andres Lokko fyllt 40 och vi infört republik)!
Drama queen är det nya nörd. Minns ni recensionen av första Arcade Fire-skivan i Vice? Recensenten skrev nåt om att det var musik av och för människor som inte kunde komma över det faktum att de blivit dumpade nån gång på 80-talet till förmån för en ännu större A flock of seagulls-frilla. Jag tror inte jag behöver utveckla det.
Idag fick jag det första mejl på länge som nästan fått mig att börja gråta. Tack Oskar!
Yelle är det nya Le tigre och den här är den nya Deceptacon:
Hon kommer med största sannolikhet inte kunna åstadkomma något lika bra igen (gå in på hennes myspace och förfasas), men det här är en anthem, och kommer så förbli. Hennes existens som artist är härmed berättigad och hennes karriär tryggad för åtsminstone några år framåt.
Kurd är det nya est. Så fort folk insett att Shan Atci och Özz Nujen inte är roliga är banan sopad för kvalitets-kurderna. Heja Baban for president (i Sverige) och Narin Celepli i Svenskan! Snart (när Andres Lokko fyllt 40 och vi infört republik)!
Drama queen är det nya nörd. Minns ni recensionen av första Arcade Fire-skivan i Vice? Recensenten skrev nåt om att det var musik av och för människor som inte kunde komma över det faktum att de blivit dumpade nån gång på 80-talet till förmån för en ännu större A flock of seagulls-frilla. Jag tror inte jag behöver utveckla det.
Idag fick jag det första mejl på länge som nästan fått mig att börja gråta. Tack Oskar!
Monday, March 26, 2007
Nej, ja och nej
Sex - nej (tyvärr).
Rock n roll - nej (inte för tillfället iaf).
Droger - ja (tyvärr). Alkohol är en drog. Det blev alldeles för mycket av det i lördags, för jag vet knappt vilken gång i ordningen. De sista timmarna är helt försvunna, eftermiddagen kommer att ägnas åt att utröna om jag gjort bort mig. Härmed utlovas bot och bättring, men det är ett vallöfte och inte ett löfte.
Rock n roll - nej (inte för tillfället iaf).
Droger - ja (tyvärr). Alkohol är en drog. Det blev alldeles för mycket av det i lördags, för jag vet knappt vilken gång i ordningen. De sista timmarna är helt försvunna, eftermiddagen kommer att ägnas åt att utröna om jag gjort bort mig. Härmed utlovas bot och bättring, men det är ett vallöfte och inte ett löfte.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Grime's not dead, eller?
Vad hände, har den dött? Den var ju så bra. Eller var det bara engelsmän och svenskar som brydde sig?
Som tur är finns ju det här:
Det får duga som substitut (fast förra skivan var bättre).
Det nya bög pt 4: Det nya metro
De är från Lidingö (jag var nära att skriva Lindö), de är solbrända, de har säkert gymmat, men de rappar om att de är typ som jag. Konstigt!
(Och jag vet att videon inte är ny, men insikten är det, därför känns det trots allt befogat)
Monday, March 19, 2007
You know you are from Sweden when...
1. Your family had to re-arrange a number of Christmas traditions when Arne Weise retired.
2. You get nostalgic by thinking of the summer of 1994.
3. You don't rely on weather forecasts unless presented by John Pohlman.
4. You thought Astrid Lindgren was immortal and was shocked and cried your heart out when she actually did die.
5. You really want to attend the Nobel Price Dinner.
6. You get pissed off when Norwegians state that the peace price is much more famous than the other Nobel prices.
7. You go seriously sentimental when entering an IKEA store, outside the borders of Sweden.
8. You love complaining about Sweden when you are there and state "it's much better in Sweden" when you are abroad.
9. You secretly love the Eurovision Song Contest to pieces.
10. You know at least 10 Abba songs by heart.
11. You claim that you are not a royalist but actually do care what "she" will wear on the Nobel Price dinner.
12. You are prone to stand in line without complaining.
13. Whenever discussing international problems you always, without exception state that "why don't you do it like we do it in Sweden?"
14. You know the names of a multitude of IKEA items.
15. You know how to pronounce these names and sigh when non-Swedes don't.
16. You grew up in a house looking exactly like as if iit would have been in the IKEA-catalogue.
17. You have a tendency to not divide words when you write in English, since "särskrivning" is a sin.
18. You don't really care about winning as long as the Swedish beat the Norwegains and the Finish, no matter what the game/contest is.
19. You know that Sweden never actually will win the World Cup in Football, but keep partying anyway.
20. When you don't really consider silence a problem in social situations.
21. When you find people from other cultures generally being rather loud. With the exception of the Finish.
22. You wouldn't even consider buying electrical items unless they are "S"-marked.
23. You consider the question "how are you?" as a question that when posed, needs to be answered with a honest and thorough explanation of your mental health.
24. You have serious difficulties crossing the street when there is a red light. Even when there are no cars.
25. You get guilty conciense from throwing things in the dustbin that could have been recycled.
26. You take your shoes off when entering a house, and don't get why non-Swedes find that funny.
27. You know what the term "dansband" refers to, but know that it is a losing battle explaining to non-Swedes what it is.
28. You don't consider a congregation of trees being a "real" forrest unless it takes at least 20 minutes to drive through it.
29. You use metric system and really don't get why there are people out there who don't.
30. You consider "schlager" being a proper music genre.
31. You consider a fast and audioable intake of breath as a synonym to the word "yes".
32. You find the ads for Coca Cola during Christmas completely useless since noone would consider drinking any other soft drink than "julmust" during Christmas anyway.
33. You consider Denmark and the Danish "pretty continental".
34. You know that it is not true, but you like to believe that there is a massive difference between the taste of "julmust" and "påskmust".
35. You know that the most common cars in Sweden are not Volvo's or Saab's, but Ahlgrens Bilar.
36. You can debate for hours the difference between the taste of the pink, the green and the white car in a pack of Ahlgrens bilar.
37. You actually have a favourite colour of Ahlgrens bilar, and is pretty militant in your opinion on this point.
38. You are not likely admit to having watched a full episode of Allsång på Skansen, but feel that the fact that they broadcast it every summer is soothing, and a notion that things remain in their normal state.
39. You like things in general to be "lagom".
40. It annoys the hell out of you that there is no good translation for the word "lagom" in any language (except in Turkish, apparently)
41. You consider Sweden being on the verge of annoyingly "lagom". Like a tetra pack of mellanmjolk, sort of.
42. You have at one point, or more, during your childhood, attempted to fabricate something that you learnt how to make from watching "Hajk".
43. While fabricating the thing mentioned in point 42. things went terribly wrong.
44. You think that Sweden winning a gold in any type of World Championships require celebrating by getting really drunk and splash around in a large and famous fountain.
45 You have a tendency to make Swedish verbs out of English nouns, and do not consider it slang or gramatically incorrect.
46. Generally, you prefer writing in pencil.
47. You've never seen a starbucks.
48. You have a summer house in the countryside. It has no running water or flushing toilet, but you can't understand why no one wants to visit.
49. Making fun of Norway is a national institution. And vise versa.
50. You love Kalles Caviar. Everyone else outside scandanavia hates it.
51. You are obsessed with health issues. Everything is bad unless it comes from sweden, in which case its ok.
52. You could survive on just fish and prawns, and still manage to have a different dish for every meal for a month. Oh, and you even put it in cake.
53. You find it normal to have to go to a special store that is owned by the government, that's only open during daytime to buy a bottle of wine, or other alcoholic beverages.
54. You constantly try to avoid meeting your neoghbours in the stairwell.
55. You split the check by the exact penny after eating at a restaurant.
56. You try to explain "The Law of Jante" to non-Swedes..!
57. You don't mind waking up way too early during the first 24 days of December in order to watch 15 minutes of TV's annual Advent Calendar.
58. You find the idea of wall to wall carpets in bathrooms and toilets simply appalling.
59. You just don't "orka"...
60. You think you understand Danish.
61. The Danish think you understand Danish.
62. Ultimatley, when spoken, you don't really understand Danish.
63. You thought wall to wall carpets was a concept of the past or the ferrys to Finland/Estonia/Germany/De
nmark. Then you went abroad and realised that you were wrong.
64. You don't even realise that you speak/write Swenglish whenever you speak/write to Swedish people.
65. You die a little inside if you don't get your weekly ransion of "Mamma Scans Kottbullar".
66. You think that everyone is allowed to walk in any field or forrest. And when people abroad tell you it's private land, you don't understand and say "But, what about Allemansratten?"
67. You expect people to be drinking atleast a bottle each of vodka, and think that's normal.
68. Your ideal breakfast consists of a slice of bread with egg och kalles kaviar, och a big cup of oboy...
69. You drink black espresso without sugar, believing that is what you do in Italy, and actually believe that you like it...
70. After having realized that someone is standing on your foot in the subway, you think that the best idea is to not say anything at all or maybe cough or nod a little in order to attract the attention of the person standing on your foot.
71. You find non-scandinavians so loud and noisy but find it perfectly normal to get completely wasted, "bröla", sing along to "när vi gräver guld i usa..." and piss in public, when you're abroad and partying with non-scandinavians.
72. You secretly consider Sweden the best place on earth and that Swedes are the most intelligent and beautiful people in the world.
73. You know who Bamse is, and love him with all of your heart.
74. You take a sip of Strongbow, frown, and state that there's nooo way that the yellow sludge they call cider really is cider..
75. You refuse to belive that snuff or "snus" is harmful.
76. Since snuff "isn't harmful", you can't understand why no one except the swedes use it...
77. You think that all things Astrid Lindgren ever wrote, sums up all the good things about being Swedish.
78. You have become addicted to Playahead/Lunarstorm/Helgo
n and/or Bilddagboken.
79. Your favourite site for games and videos is Hamsterpaj.net.
80. Seeing a young woman with lit candles stuck to her head no longer disturbs you.
81. You wake up with BIG hang-overs on the days after April 30th (Valborg) and December 13th (Lucia).
82. you have, with some measure of success, spoken rövarspråket.
83. You are stuck in front of your TV watching curling during every Olmpic Games.
84. You actually understand the rules of curling.
85. You have been accused of being from Switzerland. Repeatedly.
86. You refer to some internationally famous Swedes by their nicknames, even when speaking to bewildered non-Swedes who have no clue what you are talking about.(I.e: "Svennis" (Sven-Goran Ericsson) and "Henke" (Henrik Larsson).
86. You cried when Henke Larsson cut his hair.
87. You just love singing "snapsvisor" while drinking any kind of alcohol.
88. You would rather stand up on the bus for an hour than bother the person who's handbag is currently occupying the last available seat.
89. You would never use public transportation without a valid ticket, even though it's ridiculously overpriced.
90. You happily engage in a conversation about the weather.
91. You cannot see why the first floor you walk in to should be called anything but the first floor, and the next one up the second, and so on, and you get confused by this in every multi-storey building you enter.
92. You generally consider the pre-party better than the night out in a club that follows.
93. You cry of nostalgy and happiness thinking about Peter "Foppa" Forsberg's penalty in the ice-hockey final, Olympic Games in Lillehammer 1994.
94. You look forward all year for August when you get to gather your friends, put on stupid paper hats, drink Vodka, sing and eat crayfish.
95. You don't mind women using the men's bathroom in clubs if the queue to the "Ladies" is long.
96. You go abroad on vacation and first things first try to localize a Swedish bar and restaurant.
97. You LOVE Carola and knows almost all her songs by heart even though she's a bit of a freak these days.
98. It still disturbs you that Carola did not win the Eurovision Song Contest the first time around she participated, back in -83.
99. ou get chills down your spine thinking about the "Flour-tant".
100. It's totally ok to stop working for a while when Anja is skiing in an important competition and instead join your colleagues in front of the TV which somebody brought.
101. You actually miss Knäckebröd abroad but never eat it in Sweden because it's so "torrt"!
102. You always go "That's not REAL snow" whenever it snows in countries that usually don't get snow.
103. You find it adorable when people from other countries get excited about a few milimetres of snow that only stays on the ground for a few hours.
104. You are amazed to find that other countries are not familiar with winter tires, 'halkbanor' and 'dubbar'.
105. You insist on that Swedish chocolate is the best chocolate in the world, despite of what the Belgians and the Swiss might say.
106. It's raining and you hear yourself say your grandmothers wise words, "There is no bad weather, just bad clothes"
107. You insist on convincing people the vikings were the first to discover america.
108. When you refer to girls of other nationalities as beeing inferior to swedish girls (another race).
109. You understand the man talking embarassingly loud to his son in the elevator.
110. You can't refrain from bragging about winning both the olympics and the world championships 2006 in hockey back to back whenever you have the opportunity to...talking to a Canadian...
111. You realise that toast and marmalade can never, ever replace dark bread with "prästost".
112. You have tried to translate a phone conversation from "Hassan".
113. You have genuinely believed that a person from the UK talking about "hockey" meant "ice-hockey".
114. You consider blond hair about as normal as dark hair.
115. You constantly have to point out that not EVERYONE in sweden is blond, in fact you add that most people are not.
116. You only consider hair on the verge of being "white", blond. Everything else is just very bright brown hair.
117. You have tried, and failed, to convince non-swedes that jam with your food is really good.
118. IKEA is home away from home.
119. You don't understand why non-swedes find salt lakris inedible.
120. You know Carl Larsson captures the atmosphere of a 'stuga' perfectly.
121. you realise the potential and imagination behind a number of Swedish words (like: förfest, träningsvärk, groggvirke, sola, KLOCKRENT)
122. you get frustrated because there is no way you can say these words in any other language and sound correct.
123. you don't think a farmhouse is actually a farmhouse unless it is red or yellow with white trim.
124. eventhough jumping into haybales is really gross you still do it and love it because "Bullerby Barnen" did it.
125. you compare all other spiced wine to glögg and with a frown state the obvious superiority of the Swedish Xmas drink.
126. you seriously look for Baklava made from whole grain, because "in Sweden, we don't eat white flour anymore, Socialstyrelsen says it's not good for you"
127. you consider taking a cruise ship to tallin a valid excuse to get completely off your face and act like an utter ass as soon as the ship leaves port.
128. you know that there is no way the nesquick powder can ever replace real O'boy
129. you find it OBVIOUS that a mile is 10 kilometres.
130. a nights sleep only counts if it consists of 8 consecutive hours. 10 hours would be considered too much.
131. you hate to 'lose face' in public, and will act like everyone else to prevent this from happening
132. you insist on buying ridiculously tight pants (guys) you innocently say F**K at completely inappropriate times when talking english.
133. you consider it tradition to get wasted and dance around a giant penis symbol stuck in the ground every summer.
134. you think it's perfectly normal to pay over 50 % of your income in taxes.
135. everything you know about sex you learned from ”Bullen” or KP's "Kropp och Knopp".
136. you were devastated to find out that neither “Skurt” nor “Televinken” were real people.
137. you can’t for you life understand why there’s no handles on the paper bags you get in the liquor store.
138. the theme song from “Ika i rutan” still gives you the creeps.
139. you have been or know someone who has been an exchange student
140. When "tallriksmodellen" pops up in your head every time you serve food.
141. you find it morally reprehensable to not at least TRY and eat from all the food groups.
142. when it is considered a sin to record Kalle Anka (Donald Duck) on the video at Christmas.
143. you talk about politics at house parties.
144. you like to travel to other countries where you KNOW that 99% of the people there are Swedish or speak atleast decent Swedish
145. you actually do care if your mobile phone meets the fashion standard.
146. people ask you if you have polarbears on the streets and you try to spread the myth further by stating it's true.
147. you go to the downtown during a sunday and don't expect to meet a single soul during a 30 minute walk
148. you have a craving for at least 1 litre of Arla milk a day.
149. you can name at least 7 different kinds of jam, and produce 4 of them in your own kitchen.
150. you think you're better at engilsh than you really are.
151. you LOVE to use english quotes and slang.
152. you're not really offended anymore by getting confused with switzerland and nobody can locate sweden on a map.
153. you think its a BIG THING to have a drivers licensce before you're like 22.
154. using fuck, shit and other badwords isn't really that bad for you.
155. you automatically answer "no" when people ask you questions like
- " do you have polarbears in sweden? "
- " is it legal to smoke pot in sweden? "
156. you think its completley normal to atleast have studied one year of german, one year of french and one year of spanish
157. you know that the only parts swedish people get to play in movies is when there is supposed to be a stupid blonde in the scene.
158. you know what a midsommarstang is, and you know every song and dance that comes with it
159. it's perfectly fine to party and get wasted on random week days (especially wednesdays) just for the heck of it. Even if you have work/school the day after..
160. you have a million pictures of yourself, and 90% of those pictures you took yourself.
161. you end every phone call with "puss".
162. you find it unbearable and disturbing that "puss" and "kyss" is only one word in English.
163. you know the phrase "svenskar reser inte till ngt, dom reser fran ngt"
164. you find it weird that people go to church every sunday instead of being the people that find it weird that you DON'T go to church every sunday
165. you call it "mobile phone" and not "cell phone"
166. you always try to defend sweden for not being a part of "nasty" Europe where girls are sluts and there is no drinking age.
167. you don't mind walking instead of taking the car
168. you know almost every other country in the world as well as most capital cities, or has atleast studied this for a Geography test.
169. you have at some point in your life had a volvo or a saab as the family car
170. you think it's normal to be drunk every friday and/or saturday all year round.
171. you see a woman with a baby carriage trying to get on the bus you're in so you pretend to be sleeping so you don't have to help her with it.
172. You just love singing "snapsvisor" with any kind of alcohol.
173. you don't find "bananer i pjamas" to be a bit sexual.
174. YOU WOULD NEVER EVER ADMIT TO ANYTHING ON THIS LIST.
175. (But you realise that everything is so true as well...)
(Taget från facebook)
2. You get nostalgic by thinking of the summer of 1994.
3. You don't rely on weather forecasts unless presented by John Pohlman.
4. You thought Astrid Lindgren was immortal and was shocked and cried your heart out when she actually did die.
5. You really want to attend the Nobel Price Dinner.
6. You get pissed off when Norwegians state that the peace price is much more famous than the other Nobel prices.
7. You go seriously sentimental when entering an IKEA store, outside the borders of Sweden.
8. You love complaining about Sweden when you are there and state "it's much better in Sweden" when you are abroad.
9. You secretly love the Eurovision Song Contest to pieces.
10. You know at least 10 Abba songs by heart.
11. You claim that you are not a royalist but actually do care what "she" will wear on the Nobel Price dinner.
12. You are prone to stand in line without complaining.
13. Whenever discussing international problems you always, without exception state that "why don't you do it like we do it in Sweden?"
14. You know the names of a multitude of IKEA items.
15. You know how to pronounce these names and sigh when non-Swedes don't.
16. You grew up in a house looking exactly like as if iit would have been in the IKEA-catalogue.
17. You have a tendency to not divide words when you write in English, since "särskrivning" is a sin.
18. You don't really care about winning as long as the Swedish beat the Norwegains and the Finish, no matter what the game/contest is.
19. You know that Sweden never actually will win the World Cup in Football, but keep partying anyway.
20. When you don't really consider silence a problem in social situations.
21. When you find people from other cultures generally being rather loud. With the exception of the Finish.
22. You wouldn't even consider buying electrical items unless they are "S"-marked.
23. You consider the question "how are you?" as a question that when posed, needs to be answered with a honest and thorough explanation of your mental health.
24. You have serious difficulties crossing the street when there is a red light. Even when there are no cars.
25. You get guilty conciense from throwing things in the dustbin that could have been recycled.
26. You take your shoes off when entering a house, and don't get why non-Swedes find that funny.
27. You know what the term "dansband" refers to, but know that it is a losing battle explaining to non-Swedes what it is.
28. You don't consider a congregation of trees being a "real" forrest unless it takes at least 20 minutes to drive through it.
29. You use metric system and really don't get why there are people out there who don't.
30. You consider "schlager" being a proper music genre.
31. You consider a fast and audioable intake of breath as a synonym to the word "yes".
32. You find the ads for Coca Cola during Christmas completely useless since noone would consider drinking any other soft drink than "julmust" during Christmas anyway.
33. You consider Denmark and the Danish "pretty continental".
34. You know that it is not true, but you like to believe that there is a massive difference between the taste of "julmust" and "påskmust".
35. You know that the most common cars in Sweden are not Volvo's or Saab's, but Ahlgrens Bilar.
36. You can debate for hours the difference between the taste of the pink, the green and the white car in a pack of Ahlgrens bilar.
37. You actually have a favourite colour of Ahlgrens bilar, and is pretty militant in your opinion on this point.
38. You are not likely admit to having watched a full episode of Allsång på Skansen, but feel that the fact that they broadcast it every summer is soothing, and a notion that things remain in their normal state.
39. You like things in general to be "lagom".
40. It annoys the hell out of you that there is no good translation for the word "lagom" in any language (except in Turkish, apparently)
41. You consider Sweden being on the verge of annoyingly "lagom". Like a tetra pack of mellanmjolk, sort of.
42. You have at one point, or more, during your childhood, attempted to fabricate something that you learnt how to make from watching "Hajk".
43. While fabricating the thing mentioned in point 42. things went terribly wrong.
44. You think that Sweden winning a gold in any type of World Championships require celebrating by getting really drunk and splash around in a large and famous fountain.
45 You have a tendency to make Swedish verbs out of English nouns, and do not consider it slang or gramatically incorrect.
46. Generally, you prefer writing in pencil.
47. You've never seen a starbucks.
48. You have a summer house in the countryside. It has no running water or flushing toilet, but you can't understand why no one wants to visit.
49. Making fun of Norway is a national institution. And vise versa.
50. You love Kalles Caviar. Everyone else outside scandanavia hates it.
51. You are obsessed with health issues. Everything is bad unless it comes from sweden, in which case its ok.
52. You could survive on just fish and prawns, and still manage to have a different dish for every meal for a month. Oh, and you even put it in cake.
53. You find it normal to have to go to a special store that is owned by the government, that's only open during daytime to buy a bottle of wine, or other alcoholic beverages.
54. You constantly try to avoid meeting your neoghbours in the stairwell.
55. You split the check by the exact penny after eating at a restaurant.
56. You try to explain "The Law of Jante" to non-Swedes..!
57. You don't mind waking up way too early during the first 24 days of December in order to watch 15 minutes of TV's annual Advent Calendar.
58. You find the idea of wall to wall carpets in bathrooms and toilets simply appalling.
59. You just don't "orka"...
60. You think you understand Danish.
61. The Danish think you understand Danish.
62. Ultimatley, when spoken, you don't really understand Danish.
63. You thought wall to wall carpets was a concept of the past or the ferrys to Finland/Estonia/Germany/De
nmark. Then you went abroad and realised that you were wrong.
64. You don't even realise that you speak/write Swenglish whenever you speak/write to Swedish people.
65. You die a little inside if you don't get your weekly ransion of "Mamma Scans Kottbullar".
66. You think that everyone is allowed to walk in any field or forrest. And when people abroad tell you it's private land, you don't understand and say "But, what about Allemansratten?"
67. You expect people to be drinking atleast a bottle each of vodka, and think that's normal.
68. Your ideal breakfast consists of a slice of bread with egg och kalles kaviar, och a big cup of oboy...
69. You drink black espresso without sugar, believing that is what you do in Italy, and actually believe that you like it...
70. After having realized that someone is standing on your foot in the subway, you think that the best idea is to not say anything at all or maybe cough or nod a little in order to attract the attention of the person standing on your foot.
71. You find non-scandinavians so loud and noisy but find it perfectly normal to get completely wasted, "bröla", sing along to "när vi gräver guld i usa..." and piss in public, when you're abroad and partying with non-scandinavians.
72. You secretly consider Sweden the best place on earth and that Swedes are the most intelligent and beautiful people in the world.
73. You know who Bamse is, and love him with all of your heart.
74. You take a sip of Strongbow, frown, and state that there's nooo way that the yellow sludge they call cider really is cider..
75. You refuse to belive that snuff or "snus" is harmful.
76. Since snuff "isn't harmful", you can't understand why no one except the swedes use it...
77. You think that all things Astrid Lindgren ever wrote, sums up all the good things about being Swedish.
78. You have become addicted to Playahead/Lunarstorm/Helgo
n and/or Bilddagboken.
79. Your favourite site for games and videos is Hamsterpaj.net.
80. Seeing a young woman with lit candles stuck to her head no longer disturbs you.
81. You wake up with BIG hang-overs on the days after April 30th (Valborg) and December 13th (Lucia).
82. you have, with some measure of success, spoken rövarspråket.
83. You are stuck in front of your TV watching curling during every Olmpic Games.
84. You actually understand the rules of curling.
85. You have been accused of being from Switzerland. Repeatedly.
86. You refer to some internationally famous Swedes by their nicknames, even when speaking to bewildered non-Swedes who have no clue what you are talking about.(I.e: "Svennis" (Sven-Goran Ericsson) and "Henke" (Henrik Larsson).
86. You cried when Henke Larsson cut his hair.
87. You just love singing "snapsvisor" while drinking any kind of alcohol.
88. You would rather stand up on the bus for an hour than bother the person who's handbag is currently occupying the last available seat.
89. You would never use public transportation without a valid ticket, even though it's ridiculously overpriced.
90. You happily engage in a conversation about the weather.
91. You cannot see why the first floor you walk in to should be called anything but the first floor, and the next one up the second, and so on, and you get confused by this in every multi-storey building you enter.
92. You generally consider the pre-party better than the night out in a club that follows.
93. You cry of nostalgy and happiness thinking about Peter "Foppa" Forsberg's penalty in the ice-hockey final, Olympic Games in Lillehammer 1994.
94. You look forward all year for August when you get to gather your friends, put on stupid paper hats, drink Vodka, sing and eat crayfish.
95. You don't mind women using the men's bathroom in clubs if the queue to the "Ladies" is long.
96. You go abroad on vacation and first things first try to localize a Swedish bar and restaurant.
97. You LOVE Carola and knows almost all her songs by heart even though she's a bit of a freak these days.
98. It still disturbs you that Carola did not win the Eurovision Song Contest the first time around she participated, back in -83.
99. ou get chills down your spine thinking about the "Flour-tant".
100. It's totally ok to stop working for a while when Anja is skiing in an important competition and instead join your colleagues in front of the TV which somebody brought.
101. You actually miss Knäckebröd abroad but never eat it in Sweden because it's so "torrt"!
102. You always go "That's not REAL snow" whenever it snows in countries that usually don't get snow.
103. You find it adorable when people from other countries get excited about a few milimetres of snow that only stays on the ground for a few hours.
104. You are amazed to find that other countries are not familiar with winter tires, 'halkbanor' and 'dubbar'.
105. You insist on that Swedish chocolate is the best chocolate in the world, despite of what the Belgians and the Swiss might say.
106. It's raining and you hear yourself say your grandmothers wise words, "There is no bad weather, just bad clothes"
107. You insist on convincing people the vikings were the first to discover america.
108. When you refer to girls of other nationalities as beeing inferior to swedish girls (another race).
109. You understand the man talking embarassingly loud to his son in the elevator.
110. You can't refrain from bragging about winning both the olympics and the world championships 2006 in hockey back to back whenever you have the opportunity to...talking to a Canadian...
111. You realise that toast and marmalade can never, ever replace dark bread with "prästost".
112. You have tried to translate a phone conversation from "Hassan".
113. You have genuinely believed that a person from the UK talking about "hockey" meant "ice-hockey".
114. You consider blond hair about as normal as dark hair.
115. You constantly have to point out that not EVERYONE in sweden is blond, in fact you add that most people are not.
116. You only consider hair on the verge of being "white", blond. Everything else is just very bright brown hair.
117. You have tried, and failed, to convince non-swedes that jam with your food is really good.
118. IKEA is home away from home.
119. You don't understand why non-swedes find salt lakris inedible.
120. You know Carl Larsson captures the atmosphere of a 'stuga' perfectly.
121. you realise the potential and imagination behind a number of Swedish words (like: förfest, träningsvärk, groggvirke, sola, KLOCKRENT)
122. you get frustrated because there is no way you can say these words in any other language and sound correct.
123. you don't think a farmhouse is actually a farmhouse unless it is red or yellow with white trim.
124. eventhough jumping into haybales is really gross you still do it and love it because "Bullerby Barnen" did it.
125. you compare all other spiced wine to glögg and with a frown state the obvious superiority of the Swedish Xmas drink.
126. you seriously look for Baklava made from whole grain, because "in Sweden, we don't eat white flour anymore, Socialstyrelsen says it's not good for you"
127. you consider taking a cruise ship to tallin a valid excuse to get completely off your face and act like an utter ass as soon as the ship leaves port.
128. you know that there is no way the nesquick powder can ever replace real O'boy
129. you find it OBVIOUS that a mile is 10 kilometres.
130. a nights sleep only counts if it consists of 8 consecutive hours. 10 hours would be considered too much.
131. you hate to 'lose face' in public, and will act like everyone else to prevent this from happening
132. you insist on buying ridiculously tight pants (guys) you innocently say F**K at completely inappropriate times when talking english.
133. you consider it tradition to get wasted and dance around a giant penis symbol stuck in the ground every summer.
134. you think it's perfectly normal to pay over 50 % of your income in taxes.
135. everything you know about sex you learned from ”Bullen” or KP's "Kropp och Knopp".
136. you were devastated to find out that neither “Skurt” nor “Televinken” were real people.
137. you can’t for you life understand why there’s no handles on the paper bags you get in the liquor store.
138. the theme song from “Ika i rutan” still gives you the creeps.
139. you have been or know someone who has been an exchange student
140. When "tallriksmodellen" pops up in your head every time you serve food.
141. you find it morally reprehensable to not at least TRY and eat from all the food groups.
142. when it is considered a sin to record Kalle Anka (Donald Duck) on the video at Christmas.
143. you talk about politics at house parties.
144. you like to travel to other countries where you KNOW that 99% of the people there are Swedish or speak atleast decent Swedish
145. you actually do care if your mobile phone meets the fashion standard.
146. people ask you if you have polarbears on the streets and you try to spread the myth further by stating it's true.
147. you go to the downtown during a sunday and don't expect to meet a single soul during a 30 minute walk
148. you have a craving for at least 1 litre of Arla milk a day.
149. you can name at least 7 different kinds of jam, and produce 4 of them in your own kitchen.
150. you think you're better at engilsh than you really are.
151. you LOVE to use english quotes and slang.
152. you're not really offended anymore by getting confused with switzerland and nobody can locate sweden on a map.
153. you think its a BIG THING to have a drivers licensce before you're like 22.
154. using fuck, shit and other badwords isn't really that bad for you.
155. you automatically answer "no" when people ask you questions like
- " do you have polarbears in sweden? "
- " is it legal to smoke pot in sweden? "
156. you think its completley normal to atleast have studied one year of german, one year of french and one year of spanish
157. you know that the only parts swedish people get to play in movies is when there is supposed to be a stupid blonde in the scene.
158. you know what a midsommarstang is, and you know every song and dance that comes with it
159. it's perfectly fine to party and get wasted on random week days (especially wednesdays) just for the heck of it. Even if you have work/school the day after..
160. you have a million pictures of yourself, and 90% of those pictures you took yourself.
161. you end every phone call with "puss".
162. you find it unbearable and disturbing that "puss" and "kyss" is only one word in English.
163. you know the phrase "svenskar reser inte till ngt, dom reser fran ngt"
164. you find it weird that people go to church every sunday instead of being the people that find it weird that you DON'T go to church every sunday
165. you call it "mobile phone" and not "cell phone"
166. you always try to defend sweden for not being a part of "nasty" Europe where girls are sluts and there is no drinking age.
167. you don't mind walking instead of taking the car
168. you know almost every other country in the world as well as most capital cities, or has atleast studied this for a Geography test.
169. you have at some point in your life had a volvo or a saab as the family car
170. you think it's normal to be drunk every friday and/or saturday all year round.
171. you see a woman with a baby carriage trying to get on the bus you're in so you pretend to be sleeping so you don't have to help her with it.
172. You just love singing "snapsvisor" with any kind of alcohol.
173. you don't find "bananer i pjamas" to be a bit sexual.
174. YOU WOULD NEVER EVER ADMIT TO ANYTHING ON THIS LIST.
175. (But you realise that everything is so true as well...)
(Taget från facebook)
Monday, March 12, 2007
Blandade känslor
Varannan gång jag lyssnar på den här börjar jag gråta, på nåt sätt står den för allt som kunde ha varit men aldrig blev.
Men jag rekommenderade Den allvarsamma leken för Flora (Reims' svar på snygg-Lisa), och hon har läst den och tyckte den var jättebra, så just nu står det kanske ändå 1-3 mellan mig och tjejerna. Men det kan ju ändras, i båda riktningarna: att åka till Reims var nog det sämsta jag kunde göra om mitt mål varit att glömma någon (fast det var det ju inte). Montpellier, Paris, Rennes, Bourdeaux, Lille eller kanske t o m Aix-en-Provence hade nog funkat; Reims icke, men tro för den skull inte att jag inte försöker göra det bästa av situationen.
Men jag rekommenderade Den allvarsamma leken för Flora (Reims' svar på snygg-Lisa), och hon har läst den och tyckte den var jättebra, så just nu står det kanske ändå 1-3 mellan mig och tjejerna. Men det kan ju ändras, i båda riktningarna: att åka till Reims var nog det sämsta jag kunde göra om mitt mål varit att glömma någon (fast det var det ju inte). Montpellier, Paris, Rennes, Bourdeaux, Lille eller kanske t o m Aix-en-Provence hade nog funkat; Reims icke, men tro för den skull inte att jag inte försöker göra det bästa av situationen.
En visitant la ville spedoinkel
London var precis vad jag behövde: svenskar och så kallad skarpkultur (töntigt ord, jag vet, men efter några månader på kontinenten har jag insett att det faktiskt fyller en funktion, lite som begreppet SoFo kan göra ibland med andra ord). Rent konkret innebär detta att man kan säga "Såg du snubben som gick förbi, han var som stigen ur en dokumentär om hip hop-kulturens rötter? Back in the days, Bronx 1981!" Ni som känner mig vet att jag lever för sådana ögonblick. England gav mig även ett osökt tillfälle att studera lad-kulturen, trodde jag: jag åkte och hälsade på Hugh och hans sambor i Leicester och de tog med mig ut på en klassisk engelsk kväll med take away-curry, pubar och ett ställe som hette Zanzibar där det var studentkväll, som tydligen gick under namnet "Shag", vilket illustrerades med banderoller på väggarna där två streckgubbar (eller en gubbe och en dito gumma, snarare) förevisade diverse samlagsställningar som jag inte lyckades begripa mig på. Frågan är om jag skulle förstått mer eller mindre om jag inte druckit snakebite. Zanzibar som helhet var dock ganska lamt: inget folk (till slut var vi ensamma på dansgolvet) och jag tror att jag dessutom lyckades ådra mig mildaste graden av tinnitus -jag hör ett svagt sus i örat när det är tyst omkring mig - det kan jag leva med, men tinnitus ska man få (om man nu ska få det alls) när Hot Chip spelar, alla tjejer har fina klänningar och det säljs knark på toaletten, under de omständigheter jag fick det är det väldigt mycket "HIV utan samlag" över det. Men fôrutom denna fadäs var allt bra âven i Leicester, och ingen jag träffade var grabbigare än att han kunde diskutera klimatförändringar och tycka att "Loose women" river ner allt som 100 år av feminism och kvinnokamp byggt upp. Ska jag vara helt ärlig hade jag betydligt trevligare än jag trodde att jag skulle ha.
Jag träffade Sofia som jag inte har en aning om var hon är ifrån (Sörping är min gissning) på indieklubben White Heat, hon bor tydligen i London nu och sa åt mig att skaffa Myspace (det är f ö gjort nu). Jag såg inte Gilbert and George-retrospektiven på Tate Modern, hamnade istället på en lam utställning på National Gallery med Picasso i titeln och en ynka målning av nämnde man. Utställningen hade dock den stora fördelen att den var gratis.
Bilder kommer på det vanliga stället när Flaminia kommit tillbaka från Rom.
Jag träffade Sofia som jag inte har en aning om var hon är ifrån (Sörping är min gissning) på indieklubben White Heat, hon bor tydligen i London nu och sa åt mig att skaffa Myspace (det är f ö gjort nu). Jag såg inte Gilbert and George-retrospektiven på Tate Modern, hamnade istället på en lam utställning på National Gallery med Picasso i titeln och en ynka målning av nämnde man. Utställningen hade dock den stora fördelen att den var gratis.
Bilder kommer på det vanliga stället när Flaminia kommit tillbaka från Rom.
Monday, March 05, 2007
I stora Norpan
Musiken vi har lyssnat pa:
Den vite Cee-Lo?
"Frankrikes tuffaste tjej"
Det nya baile funk (bara jag som gillar den, dock)
Annars har jag val mest kopt ett par skor for £5 och trangt mig fore en halv ko for att dansa till skivor spalade av bl a James Murphy (DFA/LCD Soundsystem), vilket var precis vad jag behovde efter nagra Vogue-kvallar: har var det hipp DJ och musik darefter (jag kande bara igen tre latar, visste bara namnet pa en), gratis entre, inte sjukt dyr ol och ful-hippa, snygg-hippa, bara snygga och bara fula manniskor. Och svenskar! Det ar jag inte bortskamd med.
Den vite Cee-Lo?
"Frankrikes tuffaste tjej"
Det nya baile funk (bara jag som gillar den, dock)
Annars har jag val mest kopt ett par skor for £5 och trangt mig fore en halv ko for att dansa till skivor spalade av bl a James Murphy (DFA/LCD Soundsystem), vilket var precis vad jag behovde efter nagra Vogue-kvallar: har var det hipp DJ och musik darefter (jag kande bara igen tre latar, visste bara namnet pa en), gratis entre, inte sjukt dyr ol och ful-hippa, snygg-hippa, bara snygga och bara fula manniskor. Och svenskar! Det ar jag inte bortskamd med.
Friday, March 02, 2007
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